They’re out, the three of them, Buck, Tommy, and Eddie. It’s not weird. It’s nice, actually. Buck likes Tommy a lot, and Eddie’s his best friend. And they’re friends too. It works. Though he almost sat next to Eddie out of habit. He caught himself and slid in next to Tommy. Immediately Tommy’s hand was on his thigh, which was nice, and the big, warm body pressed up against his side. Buck feels lucky. He doesn’t think he ever really understood what it meant to have butterflies in your stomach until he met Tommy, until Tommy smiled at him the way he’s smiling at him now. Buck wants so badly to kiss him, but he’s still a little unsure about it all. And he is truly content to sit pressed against his side with Tommy’s hand on his thigh.
“So, Eddie,” he says. “Did you get everything sorted out with Marisol?”
Eddie laughs a little, shaking his head. “Yeah, we un-moved in together.”
“Not enough closet space after all?” Tommy asks. He takes a sip of his beer.
Eddie fiddles with the label on the bottle in front of him. “I realized we were jumping into it too fast before we knew each other. I mean, should I have learned that she was almost a nun while going through her boxes after she moved in? Probably not.” He shrugs and takes a swig of his beer. “I pulled out that picture, and it’s like my brain short-circuited.”
“Religion can be a tough topic and learning someone is religious enough to almost be a nun can be a shock,” Tommy offers.
“But you know now,” Buck adds. “And you’re taking a step back to get to know each other better. That’s good.”
Eddie sighs, leaning back in his seat. “You’re right, but I just can’t get past that moment where my brain stopped functioning. My first question? You’re not going to spank me with a ruler, are you? Dios.”
Buck is glad he’s not actively drinking his beer because he’d be choking if he was. His face burns, though. Get it together, Buckley. He’s thirty-two! He shouldn’t be this affected by the word spank! But he is. And even more so aware of Tommy’s big body right next to him, his huge hand resting on his thigh. He doesn’t think Tommy would need a ruler to leave an impression. He ducks his head, willing his dick to be chill about this. Eddie is still talking, and Buck has no idea what he’s saying. He’s trying to pull himself together. He knows he’s probably still pink at least across the bridge of his nose when he lifts his head, but he thinks maybe it’ll be fine. Only Tommy is looking at him, watching him. Buck feels exposed, but he forces a smile and leans a little into Tommy before focusing back on Eddie.
“It's fine,” Eddie says. He takes a long drink from his beer and looks around the room. “I know we just got here, but I could really go for some wings.”
“I could eat,” Buck replies, he turns his head to look at Tommy, caught a little off guard by the way the man is looking at him. He smiles a little. “What about you?”
It takes Tommy a second. He blinks and then smiles back. “What?”
Buck drops his hand, letting it rest on top of Tommy's on his thigh. “Eddie has suggested we bail on the bar and go find wings.”
“Does this bar not have them on the menu?” Tommy asks.
“They are trash. The hot isn't hot. It's a lie,” Eddie says.
Buck rolls his eyes, squeezing Tommy’s hand. “Don't get him started on hot sauce, please. You hungry?”
“Wings sound good. I'm game,” Tommy laughs. Buck really likes the sound of it.
They end up a few blocks over at this hole-in-the-wall place that might serve the best wings Buck's ever had. Eddie seems pleased by them at least. Buck's much less picky about hot sauce (and much wimpier about spice).
Eddie finally calls it quits and heads home, and Buck somehow convinces Tommy to come up to his apartment.
Buck sits in Tommy's lap with his knees on either side of his thighs as they kiss on the couch. It'd started kinda fast, the kissing. There had been an almost feverish, desperate nature to it. But at some point, Tommy had slowed it down. He grips Buck's hips, holds him in place, and takes charge, and it might be the hottest thing Buck has ever experienced.
He pulls back, out of breath and honestly feeling a little lightheaded and Tommy just kisses down his throat, bites at the juncture of his neck and shoulder. Buck moans, he can't help it. He can't remember the last time he kissed someone like this. Or was kissed like this. It doesn't feel like a lead-up. This is the whole show, and Buck thinks he could drown in this feeling.
“I don't want to devalue the fact that I think you're interesting and kind and so incredibly attractive,” he says finally, tilting his head back to give Tommy more access to his throat. “But I've never gotten to sit on someone's lap like this while making out, and it's honestly the hottest thing.”
“S'good for me too,” Tommy replies between kisses. He moves his hands down and grabs a handful of Buck's ass in each one.
“T-tommy!” Buck all but yelps. He's not proud of the sound that comes out of him, but Tommy's now got those big hands on his ass, and he can't help it.
Tommy's laughter rumbles against his throat. “That got your attention, huh?”
Buck bumps his nose against Tommy’s cheek. “You already had all of my attention.” Is it possible to feel drunk just from kissing? Buck had one beer and way too many wings, but he doesn't think that would make him feel like this.
Tommy kisses underneath his chin. “What got you flustered at the bar?”
“What?” Buck pulls back enough and looks down at him.
“When Eddie was talking. Something made you blush. Real red across your cheeks. What were you thinking about?” Tommy asks.
Buck shakes his head. “N-nothing. It was nothing.”
Tommy's hands leave Buck’s ass to grip his waist. Tommy isn't that much bigger than him. Why does he make him feel so f*cking dainty?
Tommy tilts his head slightly. “Come on. It was cute seeing you all flustered like that. How do I do it on purpose?”
Buck looks up at the ceiling. He can't tell Tommy that one mention of anything related to spanking gets him all hot and bothered at his big age of thirty-two.
“Evan, look at me,” Tommy says and waits until Buck has done so to continue. “We all have our things. I'm not going to judge you.”
Buck shakes his head.“You can't know that until you know what it is. What if I'm into… bird p*rnography?”
Tommy's eyebrows go up, and he just mostly looks amused. “Nobody mentioned birds, so I don't think it's that. Do you have a thing for nuns?”
Buck dropped his head, hiding his face against Tommy's shoulder. “Please can we just go back to the kissing? The kissing was so nice.”
“Okay, okay, but I'm going to figure it out, Evan, and it's not going to be a big deal,” Tommy says, but then his mouth is on Buck's neck again, and yes. Yes, yes, yes.
Tommy: I figured it out, and I was right, not a big deal.
Buck stares at the text, blinking to try and clear his vision because he is still in bed! He's just barely starting his day, and he wakes up to that text from Tommy?
And yeah, maybe as part of sex, spanking isn't a big deal. He's watched enough p*rn to know that it's often a very common part of sex. A few smacks, some loud, exaggerated moans. No big deal.
That's not what Buck wants. Buck wants to be spanked properly. In his preferred scenario, there's actually no sex at all.
He doesn't know how to reply to the text, so he doesn't. He gets up, he gets dressed, and he goes to work.
He's distracted, and he knows he needs to text Tommy back, but he doesn't know what to say. He finally texts back between calls mid-afternoon.
Buck: So we can just never talk about it again?
Tommy: Kinks are completely normal and okay to have.
Buck groans and shoves his phone into his pocket. He knows that. And he's done some kinky stuff with some of the women he's dated, some of the women he's just slept with. This is just a lot to ask of someone. Anyone, really, but Tommy especially. This is all new and Buck is largely unsure about a lot, though very much excited about exploring this new thing. But wanting to date and be with Tommy is one thing. Wanting to be thrown over the man's lap and brought to tears? Too much, right?
Not that Buck hasn't thought about it a lot by now. Because for once he is the smaller partner and he knows Tommy could manhandle him in exactly the way he wants to be manhandled.
The rest of the shift is exhaustingly busy, so he doesn't have a lot of time to overthink the Tommy situation. And as he changes, half listening to Eddie talk about plans he has with Marisol, he decides he's just going to go home and sleep, ignore the issue for as long as he can.
Only it's hard to ignore someone who is leaning against the hood of your car. And there are those butterflies again because just seeing Tommy makes him happy. As much as he doesn't want to talk, he does want to kiss this handsome man leaning against the hood of his jeep.
“Hi,” Buck says as he comes close. “I didn't expect to see you.” He holds out his hand, warmth spreading as Tommy takes it.
“I owe you an apology,” Tommy says.
Buck stops, frowning. “For what?”
Tommy pulls him closer, still holding his hand and resting the other on Buck's waist. “Pushing you when you made it pretty clear you didn't want to talk about the spanking thing.”
Buck's face gets hot so fast, and he drops his gaze, grateful that Tommy had, at least, dropped his voice.
“Don't say it out loud,” Buck hisses.
“I made sure nobody was coming before I said it,” Tommy says, then grips Buck's chin, tilting his head up. “You know, I'm a pretty kinky guy, and I like to think I'm pretty open-minded about all this.”
Buck groans. “There's a difference between being casually kinky and wanting your partner to make you cry.” He shakes his head and takes one step closer. He rests his free hand against Tommy's chest. “Can we please drop it?”
Tommy watches him for a second, then nods. “Let me buy you breakfast?”
“Only if you kiss me first,” Buck replies, and he's rewarded with Tommy's laugh first, then the kiss he wants.
“You're so cute, Evan,” Tommy murmurs against his lips.
“And all yours, lucky you,” Buck teases before he pulls away.
Tommy laughs again and climbs into the passenger seat of the Jeep as soon as Buck unlocks it.
Buck thinks that’s that. Tommy doesn’t bring it up again. Though eventually making out leads to more. Buck comes in his jeans like a f*cking teenager after basically riding one of Tommy’s thick thighs. There are messy handjobs, an even messier blowj*b, and yeah, the feeling of Tommy’s come drying on his face after is not the most pleasant thing he’s ever experienced, but everything that came before? Amazing. And Tommy is so gentle and patient with him. Doesn’t seem to mind when Buck gets teary and emotional after they finally have penetrative sex for the first time. Maybe because he had no idea that sex could feel like that, but maybe also because he can’t help but feel right as he lays next to Tommy, his arm slung over his broad chest.
That’s the first night Tommy stays over. Buck is sore and happy when he wakes up the next morning, and just takes in the lines and angles of Tommy’s beautiful face in the soft morning light. He can’t quite believe that this is real, that this is how he gets to wake up.
Buck doesn’t stay in bed long. He doesn’t want to disturb Tommy’s sleep, so he gets up and goes downstairs to start a pot of coffee. And then he decides to make breakfast. That’s what you do when your boyfriend (boyfriend!!!) stays the night for the first time, right? Make him breakfast? He has everything to make French toast, with sausage in the freezer and enough fresh berries left that it’ll be a somewhat complete breakfast.
He starts by getting the sausage links into a pan and throwing a lid on so they will defrost quicker. He’s just finishing up the custard mixture, humming softly to himself when there’s suddenly a warm body pressed up against his back. Tommy wraps his arms around his waist and presses soft kisses down Buck’s bare shoulder.
Buck thinks he might melt. “Was gonna bring you breakfast in bed,” he murmurs, eyes closing as his hands lose the train of thought, and he drops the whisk in the bowl.
“Mm, and have me miss the show of you cooking half-naked in the kitchen?” Tommy rumbles, his voice still rough from sleep.
Buck laughs. He’d tugged on sweatpants before coming downstairs. They are a little bit hanging low on his hips, but he’d hardly call himself half-naked.
Tommy’s hands are all over his body, and Buck thinks he could just give in to this. Since all this started with Tommy, since Buck realized that being with a man was a possibility, he’s thought a lot about sex. Maybe more about sex than he has since his Buck 1.0 days, but he really, really likes the idea of being f*cked over his own kitchen counter.
“Did you want breakfast and a show?” he asks after a second, feeling a little breathless from the way Tommy’s hands and kisses brush across his body. “Because this is not helping.”
Tommy laughs. He kisses Buck’s shoulder and pulls away. “Coffee?”
“Yeah.” Buck presses his hands to the counter, telling himself to get it together. “I’ll get it. Give me a sec. Someone got me all worked up.”
“It’s really easy,” Tommy teases as he rounds the island and pulls out one of the stools. He hadn’t even bothered to put any pants on and had come downstairs in just boxer briefs.
“If I’m half naked with sweatpants on, what are you?” Buck asks, choosing to ignore the easy-to-work-up comment.
“Comfortable,” Tommy replies. He smiles, leaning back slightly. Buck shakes his head but starts to pour Tommy that cup of coffee. He’d made it his mission to figure out how Tommy took his coffee, and now he’s pretty confident whenever he hands the man a cup.
He walks around the island to pass it over instead of sliding it across just so he can lean in and kiss Tommy. “Good morning,” he says, and he can feel the way the man smiles into the kiss. He’s not sure he’s ever felt this happy and secure in a relationship for this long before. There’s part of him that’s still worried something will happen. Maybe Tommy will realize how frustrating he can be, but for now, Tommy is happy. He’s happy too, and he knows that matters.
“Good morning, Evan,” Tommy murmurs. No one has ever said his name the way Tommy says it.
Buck pulls back, grinning, and goes back to the stove. He kind of likes knowing Tommy is watching him cook. Drinking his coffee and enjoying “the show.” There’s something about that makes Buck almost giddy. He washes and slices strawberries, washes the raspberries, and then puts them all on a plate, all the while keeping an eye on the french toast.
Once everything is done, he plates it all up and slides the plates across the island.
“This looks amazing, Evan,” Tommy says, leaning forward. “I should stay over more often.”
Buck comes around the island and gently bumps into him. “I wouldn’t mind waking up with you again.” He slid onto the stool next to Tommy.
“Maybe next time you’ll actually stay in bed,” Tommy teases. He kisses Buck’s cheek and picks up his fork.
Buck is caught for a minute, just watching Tommy take that first bite. Bobby didn’t just share with him how to cook, he shared his love language and now it’s one of Buck’s too, and it pleases him every time he can feed someone he cares about. He eventually picks up his own fork and eats. When they are finished, he gets vetoed on doing the dishes with “You cooked, I clean. Those are the rules.” And Buck has a thousand questions about who made the rules and why they are being applied to him in his own home, but it’s sweet too, so he doesn’t fight it, he just leans forward on his elbows, resting his chin on his hands and watches the actual half-naked man do the dishes.
Tommy dries his hands off on a towel when he finishes and stands directly across from Buck, smiling. “So,” he says. “I’ve got a request.”
“Anything,” Buck replies easily.
Tommy huffs out a laugh and shakes his head. “I hope that is your answer, but you might want to hear the request first.”
Buck frowns a little, now a little unsure about where this is going, but he nods after a second. “Okay, go on.”
“I have been doing some research,” Tommy says. “About spanking.”
Buck immediately leans back in his chair, his face getting hot. “I thought we’d moved on from this.”
“Evan, it’s something that matters to you, I can tell, so I wanted to give it a fair shot. I’ve read a lot of stories, articles, lists, first-hand experiences, and other things over the last few weeks, and I’m interested in it, but I want to know what you want exactly,” Tommy says.
Buck presses his hands over his face. “Tommy, it’s not a big deal. You don’t have to do all this.”
Tommy reaches across the island and grabs one of Buck’s hands, pulling it close. “I don’t have to. I want to. That’s important. And you don’t have to tell me, okay? You can send me a video instead, and I’ll watch it, and then we can talk about it.”
Buck watches him for a few seconds. He’s not fully on board, but he’s getting closer. How’d he get so f*cking lucky with Tommy?
“I can do that,” he says finally.
Tommy pulled his hand up and kissed his knuckles. “For now, I have a shift tonight and nothing to do until then aside from a nap, but how do you feel about going back to bed?”
Buck smiles immediately. “I feel very good about going back to bed with you, Tommy.” And sometimes he just can’t help but be blown away by the way Tommy’s eyes glint when he’s really, truly happy.
Buck agonizes for two days about what video to send Tommy. He has a few favorites he always goes back to, but he’s not sure what exactly conveys the feeling. He eventually ends up choosing one from a domestic discipline account he’s been following for a few years. It’s an older video of theirs, but S, the bottom has come home with another speeding ticket and is given a pretty severe punishment for it because they’d had the conversation before. J tells S how reckless it is, and that he’s going to keep ending up in this position as long as it takes for this lesson to sink in. “I love you,” J says. “And I don’t want to get a call someday that your recklessness means you’re never coming home again.”
It feels a little like it’s too much, like he’s exposing all of his ugly insecurities. Because no one has ever cared about him being reckless. How many times had he felt like if he had gotten himself killed, no one would have cared? But he sends it. And then immediately follows it up with a pretty wooden/scripted one because one of the characters is in a uniform.
Buck: Pretty sure I could have a uniform kink about you if you ever let me see you, Firefighter Kinard
Tommy: You’ve seen me in what I wear to work, Evan
Buck: The jumpsuit! I should get to see you in your uniform. That is my privilege as your boyfriend
Tommy: You’re lucky I’m fond of you
Buck: 😀😀😀
Tommy: I’ve watched the videos. The uniform one is pretty hot. I could get behind chastising a troublesome probie. Especially if he’s very cute. 😉
Buck reads the text a few times. He thinks he’d like that scenario quite a lot himself, but Tommy not mentioning the other video worries him. He gets up and distracts himself by doing the dishes, then a call comes in and they go out. It gives him the perfect excuse not to answer until they get back. He ends up in a bunk just staring at the message before he finally replies.
Buck: And the other video?
Tommy: I watched maybe a dozen from that account and then spent a little time reading about domestic discipline. Is that something that you want?
Buck: in theory. It's not a deal breaker. Just something I've spent some time thinking about.
Tommy: I'm willing to talk about it. But I have zero experience as any sort of disciplinarian. Be patient with me, Evan.
Buck blows out a breath.
Buck: You are really a wonder, Tommy Kinard.
Tommy: 😘
Tommy spanks Buck for the first time less than a week later. It starts with a text.
Tommy: Don't change before you come over.
Buck looks at the text for a few seconds, sends a thumbs up, then finishes his shift.
He says his goodbyes and rushes out before anybody can question why he isn't changing.
He parks in Tommy’s driveway and turns off the jeep, just sitting there for a few minutes, trying to shake off the jittery feeling in his lips. His phone vibrates in the cupholder.
Tommy: Let yourself in. Door’s unlocked. I'm in the kitchen.
Buck nods to himself. This is fine. He can do this. He wants it.
He grabs his bag and locks the jeep before heading inside.
He hears Tommy before he sees him. “Probie, you're late!”
Buck stops short in the kitchen doorway. Tommy is leaning against the kitchen counter in his LAFD uniform. The long sleeves have been unbuttoned and folded up, showing off his forearms. Buck had no idea he was this much of a slu*t for forearms. And the pants? The pants are tight, clinging to Tommy’s beefy thighs and Jesus Christ, leaving nothing to the imagination.
Buck wants to fall to his knees in front of his boyfriend and mouth at the outline of his dick through the fabric of his uniform pants.
“Probie!”
Buck jumps, his eyes on Tommy's face again. “S...sorry, sir,” he manages, barely.
Tommy raises an eyebrow and pushes away from the counter, straightening up. “Didn't I tell you to be on time today or there would be consequences?”
Buck drops his shoulders. He takes a step forward. “I… I really tried to be on time today, sir. Traffic was backed up on the freeway.”
Tommy takes two steps forward, the sound of his boots on the tile floor ominous in a way that excites Buck. His hand closes around Buck’s upper arm. “It's always an excuse with you, probie. It's time you learn there are consequences to your actions.”
Buck lets out a startled sound as Tommy jerks him forward. He is quick to unbuckle Buck's belt and pop the button on his pants before he pushes him down over the kitchen table.
“Sir!” Buck cries out, squirming. “I'm sorry, please! I promise I'll do better!”
“You will do better,” Tommy replies. “Your sore backside will remind you.” He tugs Buck’s pants down his thighs.
“Sir!” Buck all but squeals as he feels Tommy’s fingers in the waistband of his boxer briefs. “I… I I don't think that's necessary!”
But Tommy just tugs his underwear down to meet the pants. “I aim to leave quite an impression on you, probie.”
Buck yelps as Tommy's big hand smacks down on his bare skin. Buck knew Tommy’s hands were big. Had even felt them cupping his ass last week when Tommy lifted him up against the shower wall to f*ck him. But he couldn't have imagined how f*cking perfect those big hands would feel smacking his ass.
Buck whines softly, pressing his forehead against the surface of the table as Tommy spanks him. The burn is there, just starting, building the more Tommy spanks him.
“I'm sorry, sir,” he whines. “I'll do better!”
“You will,” Tommy replies, but he doesn't stop. Buck curls his fingers through his hair, just needing to hold on to something. He whimpers.
The burn has set in now. He feels like he's on fire and it only gets worse the longer Tommy goes.
He's just on the verge of tears when Tommy stops. He feels the burn in his backside, but also disconnected from his body, floating somewhere above it. Tommy's hands are gentle now. They rub up his sides and his back.
He's talking, but Buck has no idea what he's saying, so he just makes a soft humming sound in response. Tommy laughs, pulls Buck's boxer briefs back into place, and helps him stand.
Tommy helps him out of his boots, pants, and shirt, and they end up on the couch, but it's really fuzzy after that.
When Buck comes back into full consciousness, he takes stock of his body. He's fully on top of Tommy on the couch, wearing just his undershirt and boxer briefs. His ass hurts, but it's good; it's really good.
He slowly opens his eyes, right into Tommy’s. Warmth blossoms inside of him. “Hi.”
Tommy’s hand wraps around the back of Buck’s neck. “Hi, Evan.”
Buck pushes himself forward just enough to press a kiss to Tommy's mouth before he settles again, laying his head down on the solid chest underneath him. “Thank you.”
“How do you feel?” Tommy asks, and there's something in his voice, an uncertainty that Buck's never heard in Tommy before.
He lifts his head up again to look at Tommy. “I feel really f*cking good, Tommy. How do you feel?”
Tommy’s lip quirks up after a second, and he huffs out a laugh. “That was really fun. And I want to do it again. But I want to take my time. See how many of those pretty little whimpers and whines I can get out of you. And I thought you were responsive during sex.”
Buck can feel the heat from his blush, but he doesn't care. He's happy. So this is what fulfillment feels like.
Tommy is a man of his word. Just a little over a week later, he has Buck naked and laid out on his bed. He, at some point, took a trip to a sex shop and bought some toys. A small paddle and a crop. And he commandeered a wooden spoon from the kitchen. He takes his time and Buck spends a lot of time in that floating, happy space.
It happens almost weekly after that. Sometimes it's quick and Tommy pushes him over the counter and swats him just enough to make him whine and pout. Sometimes he takes his time. Buck loves both. He's never cried, but that's okay. He thinks that this might be enough. He's having his main kink fulfilled often. The sex is great. Just being with Tommy is great. Maybe he doesn't need more.
“Let's watch this together,” Tommy says one night as they lay in bed together. It'd been a rough week. Long shifts, rough calls. Buck had been more than ready to fall right into Tommy's arms and do nothing with him. They watched a Hallmark movie and ordered Thai food. Now they are snuggled in bed together. Buck thinks that this is bliss.
“Watch what?” Buck asks through a yawn.
“That video you sent me,” Tommy says. He pulls it up. Buck has never watched any p*rn with anybody.
Buck lays his head on Tommy's shoulder but immediately sits up when he realizes it's the domestic discipline video and not the uniform one. “Tommy, I'm really fine with what we are doing. I'm happy, in fact.”
“Evan lay down with me and just watch it. I asked you to send me what you wanted and you sent this one first,” Tommy replies. And he always sounds so f*cking calm and reasonable about everything.
Buck sighs and lays back down. It doesn't help that he's seen the video over a dozen times already. He half smushes his face against Tommy as they watch it.
“What appeals to you about that?” Tommy asks when it ends.
Buck sucks on his lip for a few seconds. “S was speeding. It's dangerous. And J cares about him enough to punish him for it. Nobody has ever really cared that much about anything I do. It got me attention to do dumb sh*t as a kid. It just got me yelled at as I got older.” He gently strokes his thumb down Tommy's chest. “J holds S at the end as he cries and just reminds him that he's important. That he loves him. And he's gonna keep spanking him for the rest of their lives if that's what it takes to keep him safe.”
“Evan,” Tommy says softly. He sets his phone aside. “You're the sweetest, most adorable person.” He lifts his head enough to kiss his forehead. “You're worth keeping safe.”
Buck already feels a little like he's been cut open, having to think about the ways he felt unwanted growing up, but Tommy’s words just make him feel even more emotional. He wraps his arm around Tommy’s waist, nuzzling him with his cheek. “You make me feel like I am.”
And they just end up curled up together talking, the video forgotten.
They don't talk about it again in the weeks that follow. But everything continues going really well. Buck thinks he might be in love. But it's only been three months since Maddie and Chim's wedding, since their first official date, or at least the one where Buck didn't get left on the sidewalk.
He googles “How soon is too soon to be in love?” in the bunk room while he's supposed to be sleeping. There doesn't seem to be a consensus. It depends on the individual and the situation. Not helpful. So he doesn't say it. But he knows he cares deeply for Tommy, and he hopes Tommy knows.
Tommy: Do you need a ride to work in the morning? We have to limit the number of goodbye kisses to three because I can't be late again.
Buck: I am personally offended that you would even suggest limiting the number of kisses to me, your very cute boyfriend.
Tommy: My very cute boyfriend can have as many kisses as he likes this weekend when neither of us has to be at work. Ride?
Buck: I'm going to get one of those hand clickers to start keeping track, make sure I'm being kissed enough. Eddie is picking me up. They called and said the jeep would be ready on Monday.
Tommy: 😘😘😘 three to get you through your shift.
Buck: You're so sweet to me, Tommy Kinard. 😘
The shift is slow, which is fine but also Buck gets bored. He ends up reorganizing things and filling other things and basically getting in everyone's way until Eddie pulls him down on the couch. He hands him a crossword that has about half the answers filled in.
“Help me,” Eddie says. “I'm stuck.”
Buck knows stuff from his various research binges, so he's usually pretty good at crosswords. And they get everything except Consider an imaginary animal.
“It's three words,” Buck says, tapping the pen against the paper.
They still haven't figured out when the alarm goes off.
It's almost full dark when they pull up to the scene. It's a high-rise apartment building in the middle of downtown. There are dozens of people crowded on the sidewalk and the building manager meets them at the engine.
“Twenty floors. The alarm system indicates the alarm was triggered on the seventeenth,” she tells them.
Bobby rounds the engine. “Diaz, Buckley, Dispatch says there is a woman on floor eighteen in a wheelchair. Her name is Sarah. While you're up there make sure those top three floors are cleared. I'm sending Johnson and Trevor up to seventeen to work on containment.”
“On it,” Eddie says. Buck nods and follows him in.
When they get up to the seventeenth floor, a brunette woman is waiting in the stairwell in her wheelchair.
“Sarah?” Eddie asks.
“That's me,” the woman replies. “Sorry you had to come all the way up here for me.”
Eddie shakes his head. “Sarah, you deserve to get out of this building just as much as anybody else. That's what we are here for. I'm Eddie. I'm going to carry you down.”
“I'm going to clear these floors and then I'll follow with your chair, ma'am,” Buck adds. “You're in good hands.”
Eddie makes sure Sarah has a secure hold on him before he lifts her out of her chair. He glances at Buck. “Make good choices, Buck.”
Buck laughs, rolling his eyes. “Yes sir.” He offers a mocking little salute and heads up to the top. He pounds on doors, yelling LAFD. Twenty is clear, but a young man opens the door on nineteen.
“You have to go. There's a fire,” he says.
The man blinks at him. “It's not just another false alarm? The alarm goes off at least once a week because somebody burns toast.”
“This is a real fire, and you need to evacuate now,” Buck tells him. “Go to the stairs now.”
The young man nods. He slips into a pair of shoes and heads for the stairs.
Buck keeps going. He finds two more people and a small dog on eighteen. “Alright, let's go, let's go,” he says, ushering them to the stairs. Except when he steps into the stairwell, it's hot. He looks down over the railing, the stairs are engulfed in flames. “Back into the hallway!”
There is supposed to be another set of stairs on the other side, so he leads down the hall toward the other side of the building, but as soon as he turns the corner they are met with more fire.
He curses and turns back toward the two people, two women. ”We have to go up.” He grabs his radio. “This is Firefighter Buckley. I have two people with me. The fire has spread into the south stairwell on the seventeenth floor. The fire has also spread up to eighteen and blocked the north stairwell. We have to go up.”
“Copy Buckley. 217 is en route.” Bobby replies quickly.
“Okay, up,” Buck says, ushering them back into the stairwell. It's rapidly filling with smoke, but there's no other option. “We have to go fast.”
They reach the top, but the door labeled “Roof Access” won't open.
Buck shoves against it a few times, curses and says, “Stand back.”
He doesn't have quite enough space to build the momentum he needs to kick it open on the first try, but it finally opens after three good kicks and they all spill out onto the roof.
“Our helicopter unit is on its way,” he tells them.
“118, this is dispatch. I have a little girl on the line. She is on the seventeenth floor and is trapped in her apartment. Her name is Ella.”
“Seventeen is engulfed,” Bobby says. “Does she have a patio?”
“Yes, but there is some sort of secondary lock above where she can reach. She can't open it.”
“This is Firefighter Buckley. What apartment is she in?” Buck asks.
“1707.”
“I'm going to try to get in from eighteen.” Buck turns to the women. “Stay here.” And he runs back into the building. He pulls his mask on. The fire is almost to eighteen by the time he gets down there, but he heads back into the hallway. The air is thick with black smoke, but he finds 1807 and kicks in the door, running through it and out onto the balcony. The balconies are offset from each other just enough that he's pretty sure he can just drop down onto the one below.
“I think I can get down to her balcony from 1807,” he says into his radio.
“Wait for 217, Buckley,” Bobby replies.
Buck groans. “Cap, the smoke is bad on eighteen. It's probably worse on seventeen. I can get this girl out onto the balcony at least.”
“Buck, you are eighteen stories off the ground with no safety gear. Wait for 217.”
Buck glances over the edge. He is very far up. But he's never been afraid of heights. And he's pretty sure he'll land on the balcony.
“Firefighter Buckley, this is Kinard. I am two minutes out. Wait for me.” And even flying into a hurricane Tommy hadn't sounded like that.
Buck feels a little bit bad about that, but he sighs. “Sorry, I can't wait.”
For what it's worth, he does try to be careful. And his foot slips only once before he manages to get to where he's essentially hanging between the 1807 balcony and the next one over. He starts to swing himself a little, builds up the moment he needs, the lets go. For a second, he regrets it. For a second, he thinks maybe his plan was stupid. But then his feet land on the solid balcony of 1707. He doesn't stick the landing, goes down hard on his knee, and has to take a moment to breathe, but he makes it.
“Dispatch, tell Ella to get back from the glass,” he pants.
He waits half a minute longer and then puts his boot through the sliding glass door. He clears as much glass as he can, then steps through. His knee twinges with every step, but he ignores it.
“Ella?” he calls. He doesn't hear a response, but he does hear coughing. The apartment is filled with thick smoke and he can't see, but he follows the sound until he finds her curled up against a wall. She can't be more than six.
“Ella, I'm Buck. I'm going to get you out, okay?” he says, holding out his arms.
She nods, coughing, but holds her arms out toward him. He scoops her up and immediately puts his mask as best he can over her face. He holds his breath and runs for the balcony.
“I got her,” he says into his radio.
He takes deep breaths of clean air and stays away from the opening into the apartment.
Buck hates waiting. But he has no other choice. It seems like ages before he hears Tommy's voice crackle through the radio.
“Buckley, Donato is on her way down to you.”
Buck feels relieved. Ella needs to be treated for smoke inhalation at least.
“Buckley,” Lucy says as she drops down into view.
He offers her a small smile. “Donato. Ella breathed in a lot of smoke,” he says as he passes her over.
Lucy nods. “I'll come back for you once we get her to medical and the two off the roof. Though, I would rather be in that burning building than in the chopper with Kinard if I were you.”
Buck sighs. “Good to know.”
He watches Lucy and Ella go up and sits down in the corner of the balcony.
He's there a few minutes, then sighs and leans his head back. “sh*t, it's bear in mind.”
“Buckley to Diaz. The answer is bear in mind,” he says into the radio, then looks back at the apartment. The fire had gotten through the front door. “Oh, and the fire is now inside 1707.”
He watched it cautiously as it spread through the apartment. There was nothing he could do. The sprinklers should have come on, but they hadn't. Proper fire doors should have prevented the fire from spreading into the stairwells.
He is vaguely aware of the sound of the helicopter above him, but it isn't until Lucy’s boots land next to him that he looks up.
“Ready to get out of here, Buckley?” she asks.
Buck stands. “Why was a little girl in her apartment alone at night?”
“Her mom ran to the corner shop,” Lucy says as she tugs the harness down over Buck's head. “Ready to get out of here?”
“Tommy is really mad?” Buck asks softly.
“I don't think I've ever heard him curse that many times in a row before.” Lucy tugs at his harness, then grabs her radio. “Alright, get us out of here.”
Buck squeezes his eyes shut as they go up. He's still not afraid of heights, but he's pretty sure this is the end of his relationship with Tommy. He's going to realize that Buck is too much to handle. He doesn't open his eyes until he's in the helicopter, and he's pulling the harness off over his head.
“Are you hurt, Firefighter Buckley?” Tommy asks. His voice is tight.
Buck sits back in the seat. “My knee hurts. But I can walk on it.”
“Good,” Tommy replies, then nothing else.
Buck glances at Lucy who just shrugs.
Bobby is waiting for him when he lands.
“Is she okay?” Buck asks as he climbs out of the helicopter.
“On her way to the hospital with minor smoke inhalation,” Bobby replies, grabbing his shoulder. “Go see Hen.”
Buck nods, but he looks back. Lucy smiles at him. “Thanks, Lucy,” he says, voice soft. “Tommy.”
A voice crackled across Lucy’s radio. “Gotta go. See you soon, 118, but hopefully not too soon,” she says, then closes the door before the helicopter takes off again.
Buck ends up in the hospital for an x-ray. It's not broken, but he's got a bone bruise. They discharge him with an ice pack and orders for light duty and NSAIDs.
Eddie is in the waiting room when Buck comes out. He's not in his turnouts anymore. He stands.
“So, you get to keep the leg?” he asks.
Buck huffs out a laugh and basically crashes into Eddie's, hugging his best friend. “This time. Fire contained?”
“They got the sprinkler system online just after you left,” Eddie says. “We got in and got it out, but it looks like there's structural damage, so there are a lot of people with nowhere to go.”
Buck sighs, nods. He pulls out of the hug and they head toward the parking lot. “You mad at me?”
Eddie is quiet for a second, then shakes his head. “No. If I got mad every time you put your life in danger, I'd just be a ball of anger. I've been there, done that, not keen to go back. Though I distinctly remember telling you to make good choices.”
Buck stops at the passenger door of Eddie's truck. “Tommy's mad. He asked if I was injured, but then said nothing else.”
Eddie unlocks the truck, but doesn’t open the door. He rests a hand on the hood. “Tommy hasn't yet experienced any of your patented Buck Stuff.”
Buck shakes his head. He pulls open the door and climbs in. He waits until Eddie is in before he looks at him again. “He's never been angry at me before. What if…”
Eddie rests his hand on Buck’s shoulder, turning toward him. He squeezes. “Buck, don't jump to conclusions and spiral about this. Talk to him when you get off.”
Buck takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly before he nods. He buckles his belt. “You're right.”
Eddie squeezes his shoulder again and pulls back.
Buck gets a short lecture from Bobby, then he ends up in the loft with his knee up and ice on it.
There are only two calls. One is just medical and the other Buck gets left behind. Which isn't a big deal, but it means he's left alone with his thoughts.
Shift ends, and he changes into a pair of sweats and a hoodie, then follows Eddie out to the parking lot.
“Your ride is here, Buck,” Eddie says.
Buck rolls his eyes. “You're my ride, Eddie.” He looks up and stops. Tommy leans against the hood of his car, his arms crossed over his chest.
Eddie bumps him with his shoulder. “Talk to him, Buck,” he murmurs, then pulls ahead. He lightly punches Tommy in the arm and leans in to say something to him, then pulls back again. “Enjoy your weekend, guys.”
Buck clutches the strap of his bag and takes a deep breath before walking forward. He knows Tommy can see him limping.
“What did the doctor say?” Tommy asks, and his voice is soft in a way that makes Buck want to curl up in his lap.
Buck stops in front of him. “Bone bruise. Ice, rest, and NSAIDs.”
Tommy nods. “In,” he says, gesturing to his car.
Buck tosses his bag in the back and climbs into the passenger seat.
It's silent as Tommy pulls out of the parking lot and starts to drive.
Buck lasts all of two minutes before he breaks. “You don't have to take me home to break up with me. I can get there on my own.”
Tommy is quiet at first, but when he pulls to a stop at a red light, he reaches out and rests his hand on Buck's thigh. “I'm not going to break up with you, Evan.”
Buck glances at him. “You're not?”
Tommy looks back at Buck. “No, I'm going to spank you.”
Buck gapes at him. “What?”
Tommy turns his attention back to the road. “What you did was unsafe and very dumb. If you'd fallen, you would have died. Full stop.”
“I didn't fall,” Buck says.
Tommy clenches his jaw. “But you could have, Evan. You didn't have any safety equipment, you just jumped from an eighteenth-story balcony down to another balcony. Your captain told you to wait. I told you to wait.”
“Our job is inherently risky. Either one of us could die on any call,” Buck replies.
“I know that. Doing what we do is risky enough without making dumb choices. I don't want to hear over the radio that the man I love is going to jump off an eighteenth-floor balcony without any safety equipment,” Tommy snaps.
Buck stares at him. “You love me?”
Tommy rubs a hand over his face. “Yes, Evan. I love you. I know it's only been a few months, but I had to face the reality of losing you today.”
Buck looks down at his lap. “I wanted to save that little girl. That's all I could think about.”
“You have a good heart, but you're not… replaceable, Evan. If you'd fallen, Maddie, Bobby, Eddie, Hen, Chimney, me… we would have lost you for good,” Tommy says.
Buck looks out the window, wrapping his arms around himself. “I… I didn't think about that.” He takes a deep breath, still looking out the window. “You don't have to… spank me. I get it.”
Tommy laughs, though it's not a particularly happy sound. “No, that's happening. You told me that what you wanted was someone to care when you do dumb sh*t, well, sweetheart, this is me caring about you doing dumb sh*t.” He hooks his thumb toward the back seat. “I stopped to buy a hairbrush on my way over.”
Buck glances back. It's just sitting on the back seat with the receipt, a square, wooden hairbrush with a flat back. He'd never been spanked before Tommy. Sure, some self-experimentation and a few slaps during sex with former partners, but the scene in the kitchen was his first ever. And he's never been punished before. He sinks down in his seat.
There's a lot going on in his head right now. Tommy loves him. That's the big one, like it's on a big, flashing marquee in his brain. The hairbrush is also there. And the fact that Tommy is going to spank him in a very much not playing way. But Tommy cares about him. And… sweetheart. Sweetheart, sweetheart, sweetheart. No one has ever called Buck sweetheart before.
“Am I your sweetheart?” his mouth asks before his brain can catch up.
Tommy puts his hand back on Buck's thigh and squeezes. “You are, Evan. You are my sweetheart, and I want you to stick around for a long time.”
Buck rests his hand on top of Tommy's. They're both quiet the rest of the drive, but it's not the same as it was before. Buck's not worried about being broken up with.
When they pull into Tommy's driveway, Tommy turns off the car and flips his hand so he can take Buck's. He pulls the keys from the ignition and offers them to Buck. “I'll get your bag. Go in, use the bathroom, get a drink of water. Whatever you need, and then sit on my bed to wait for me.”
Buck looks at the keys for a second, tugging at his lip with his teeth.
“Hey.” Tommy wraps a hand around the back of Buck’s neck, leaning closer to him. “You're okay. We are okay. You're going to get a spanking and then we are both going to sleep for a long time.”
“You're sure we’re okay?” Buck asks after a second, his eyes flickering across Tommy’s face.
“Evan.” Tommy leans in and kisses him. “Yes. I'm sure we are okay. Do you think this is a bad idea? This is what you wanted, but that doesn't mean we have to do it.”
Buck shakes his head. “No, it's not a bad idea. I'm just nervous.” He glances back toward the hairbrush, then at Tommy. “It's gonna hurt.”
Tommy cups his cheek, stroking his thumb across the zygomatic arch. “Isn't that the point, sweetheart? So maybe next time you stop and think about your life? That there are people who love you?”
“You're right,” Buck says. He takes a deep breath in and lets it out slowly before he leans in and kisses Tommy.
He takes the keys and heads into the house. He doesn't need to piss or get a drink, so he takes off his shoes and sits down on the bed.
Waiting, just like at the fire, is always Buck's least favorite part. He folds his hands together and leans forward resting his forearms on his thighs.
He listens as Tommy comes into the house, as he removes the keys from their spot by the door and locks his car from the doorway.
Buck squeezes his eyes shut, trying not to map Tommy's path through the house.
“Evan.”
Buck jumps a little, looking up. He watches as Tommy sets a glass of water and a couple pills on the bedside table.
“What’s that?” Buck asks.
“Motrin,” Tommy replies, turning toward him; he tosses the hairbrush on the bed. “For your knee.”
Buck nods.
Tommy offers his hands. “Ready?”
Buck blows out a breath and takes the offered hands. He is pulled to his feet and immediately into a tight hug.
When Tommy pulls back, he sits down on the bed, then grips Buck's hips, pulling him close. “Evan, I love you. I know it's early, and I don't expect you to say it back right now, but it's true. And I don't want to lose you.” He tugs a little at the hem of Buck's hoodie. “You think you've got the message or do you need more of this scolding part?”
Buck can't help the huff of laughter, and he shakes his head. “I get it. No more dumb dangerous stuff.”
“Good.” Tommy tugs Buck's sweats and boxer briefs down his thighs and then pulls him down over his lap. “I'm going to pin your legs down so you don't kick while your knee is hurt.”
Buck settles as best he can. It's not a comfortable place to be, over Tommy's lap like this, but he's always thought that this position wouldn't work for him and his big body. Not when he's always been so much bigger than all his partners. Only Buck doesn't think that now. He feels secure. Even as Tommy pins his legs down with one of his own, Buck still feels secure. He feels safe over Tommy's lap.
Tommy rubs his hand across the small of his back. “You're very important to me, Evan.” And then he brings his hand down hard on Buck's bare cheek. Buck takes a deep breath in and lets it out, then the next one comes. And another. One swat right after the other.
It hurts. Buck isn't sure that it hurts more than any other time that Tommy has spanked him, but this one feels different. He made Tommy worry. But it wasn't just Tommy. The others who love him too. He'd disobeyed a direct order from his captain, his captain who rightfully told him not to jump between balconies eighteen stories off the ground with no safety gear.
That part hurts a little differently.
And definitely not good at all. Buck squirms in Tommy's grasp.
“Ow, ow,” he gasps. His ass burns and Tommy does not seem to be stopping. Has he been going easy all this time?
“Tommy! I'm sorry!” he cries out trying to squirm his way free, but he's not getting anywhere. Tommy has him. “Tommy, it hurts!”
“It's a punishment, sweetheart,” Tommy replies, and he just keeps going. Buck feels like he's on fire. His ass hurts and he's peripherally aware that there's still a hairbrush somewhere within Tommy's reach.
Tommy wraps his arm around Buck's waist, and Buck finds himself bracing for the hairbrush only that's not what happens. Instead, Tommy spanks the tops of Buck's thighs right where they meet his ass.
“I thought you were an amateur at this!” Buck cries out, but he can squirm even less now that Tommy's arm is around his waist.
“I've been watching a lot of videos lately,” Tommy replies. He pauses and Buck goes a little limp over his lap. Tears are stinging at his eyes. His ass has never hurt like this before. He's ready to promise anything, to be so good, more well-behaved than he's ever been before when something cool rubs against his burning skin.
Buck struggles against Tommy's hold. “Tommy, Tommy, babe, please. I'm sorry. I promise I won't do it again. I'm sorry!”
“Evan, I don't ever want to hear about you doing something like that again, do you hear me? You are a good firefighter, and I expect you to act like it. You listen to your captain, and you don't do dumb sh*t,” Tommy says. And then he brings the hairbrush down hard across both cheeks.
Buck shouts. And then three swats later, he sobs.
He gives in and just cries as Tommy spanks him. He's sorry. He knows what he did was wrong. He just wants to be good! He wants to be a good boy!
“Evan, sweetheart.” Tommy's warm hand slides up the back of Buck's hoodie, rubbing slow circles across his back. It's over. The spanking is over.
Tommy lifts his leg, and Buck slides off his lap to his knees. He ends up between Tommy’s legs, buries his face against Tommy’s middle while grabbing handfuls of his shirt. He cries.
Tommy wraps his arms tight around him. He kisses the top of Buck’s head.
As Buck calms, he takes stock of his body. His ass hurts. So does his knee; he really shouldn't be on it like this, but he feels… lighter somehow.
Tommy cups his face with both hands, tipping it back. “Can you check in with me, sweetheart?”
Buck looks up at him for a few long seconds, then smiles. “I love you.”
Tommy tilts his head slightly, giving him that soft look he does sometimes. “Evan, I told you that you didn't have to say it.”
Buck shakes his head. “No, I love you, Tommy Kinard. I'm sorry that I scared you today, and I'm going to try to never do it again. I want to be around for a long time. Especially if it means I get to be with you.”
“Evan,” Tommy says his name like an exhale and then kisses him. “I love you. Now come on. Off your knee.”
Buck feels wobbly as he stands, but Tommy is right there to help keep him stable and get his underwear back into place before the sweats and hoodie are slipped off.
“Motrin,” Tommy says, and Buck dutifully takes the pills before he gets into bed.
He immediately rolls to his stomach, his head pillowed on his arms as he watches Tommy strip out of his jeans and t-shirt. He waits until Tommy is settled in bed next to him before snuggling closer. He wraps his arm across Tommy’s stomach.
Tommy kisses his forehead. “How do you feel?”
Buck hums, his eyes closing. “I am never getting in trouble again,” he murmurs.
Tommy laughs. “We'll see.” He brushes his fingers through Buck’s hair.
And Buck thinks he might hear “Sleep well, Evan” just as he drops off to sleep, but who knows for sure.
